Fry's Electronics Employment Application

Note: Fry's is a Silicon Valley electronics chain noted for its high-tech clientele and eclectic selection of -- stuff.

Name:  _____________
           _
Address:  |_| YMCA
          |_| Halfway House
          |_| Cardboard Box on Page Mill Road
          |_| None of the Above

City:  _____________

Phone:  011+____________
             _
Education:  |_| Some Grammar School
            |_| 8th Grade
            |_| Some High School
            |_| Umm... "Self-Taught"
            |_| Watched Lots of TV

IQ:  _
            _
Position:  |_| Customer Service Associate
           |_| Surly Sales
           |_| Today's Floor Supervisor
           |_| Door Nazi
           |_| The guy who gets the RAM out of the case locked with
               Kryptonite Bolts (just in case Superman comes in).

=====================================================================

CASHIERING POSITIONS
                 _
English is your |_| second language.
                |_| third
                |_| forth

You are at a register and the customer's total is $6.31.  The
customer hands you a $10.00 bill.  You should...
 _
|_|  Have the customer wait while you call the Federal Reserve to
     make sure the bill is good.
 _
|_|  Mumble, "Customer service..." and stare vacantly into space
     while waiting for your supervisor.
 _
|_|  Yell out, "Check approval please!"
 _
|_|  All of the above.

A customer picks up a can of soda but decides he doesn't want it
while at the register.  You...
 _
|_|  Call Sunnyvale to double-check his resale number.
 _
|_|  Call Pepsi to check the expiration date on the soda.
 _
|_|  Refuse to return it because he doesn't have a receipt.
 _
|_|  All of the above.

=====================================================================

COMPUTER OR SOFTWARE SALES

A customer approaches you on the floor and asks how much memory you
need to run Windows `95.  You...
 _
|_|  Pretend you don't hear him and walk briskly into the next aisle.
 _
|_|  Continue to stare blankly into space.
 _
|_|  Blurt out the first number that comes into your head
 _
|_|  Say, "Can't you see I'm helping another customer?!" and run off
     to the backroom to smoke a cigarette.

You pick up the ringing phone, expecting to hear your girlfriend
and/or mother.  A customer asks if you have Photoshop 3.05 for
Windows in stock.  You...
 _
|_|  Blurt, "Certainly!" in a loud voice, while checking your teeth
     in the reflection from your suitcoat and trying to remember if
     you hid the last copy well enough.
 _
|_|  Snarl, "Not my department!" into the receiver and slam down the
     phone.
 _
|_|  Play a game with the other clerks to see who can get a caller to
     hold the longest by offering to "Check the Fremont store."
 _
|_|  Explain how you're really a software developer, and that your
     Visual Basic version "Fotoshop" is really far superior and only
     slightly more expensive.

=====================================================================

AUDIO/VISUAL SALES

A kindly older gentleman asks to purchase the 13" TV that was
advertised in the morning paper for $99, a gift for his
grand-daughter's college dorm room.  You...
 _
|_|  Tell him that, darn it, you've just sold the last one.  However,
     the top-quality "SONY" brand TV right next to it is only $225!
     When he points out the stack of sale TV's next to the display,
     tell him they're empty boxes.  If he picks one up to see, run.
 _
|_|  Scoff at his selection.  Explain that all the kids nowadays
     would be humiliated by anything less than a 32" Mitsubishi with
     Stereo Surround, only $3,200!
 _
|_|  Tell him Sunnyvale has some, and they'll hold one.  Then call
     Sunnyvale and tell them to send him to Campbell.  Repeat with
     Fremont store.
 _
|_|  Invite him out to your car, where there's an "Open Box Buy."

You're working the AV room today.  Customers come in to see the Home
Theater equipment.  You...
 _
|_|  Diddle nonchalantly with the equipment, and tell people you have
     the same $1,400 Carver amp at home.  Only your mom knows you buy
     Realistic from Radio Shack.
 _
|_|  Insist repeatedly that the Technics speakers are really the same
     as the Infinity Crescendos, just without the expensive
     nameplate.
 _
|_|  Fantasize idly of your dream job at Circuit City.  Someday,
     someday...
 _
|_|  Put "Top Gun" into the VCR and turn the volume up so loud that
     you're instantly sterile

=====================================================================

EMPLOYMENT EXPERIENCE

Have you been fired by Radio Shack or any subsidiary of the Tandy
Corporation in the last three years?
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

Have you been involved in retailing in the USSR, North Korea,
Thailand, or any of the former Soviet satellites?
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

Are you "computer literate?"
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

Can you program your VCR?
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

Do you know how to use an ATM?
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

Do you know how to se a remote channel changer?
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

Can you flush a toilet without assistance?
 _           _
|_|  Yes    |_|  No

NOTE:  If answer to any of the above is "yes," please answer "YES."

=====================================================================

Expected Salary:
 _
|_|  $4.85/Hr.    Name of Elementary School Attended:  ____________
 _
|_|  $5.00/Hr.    Name of High School Attended: ____________
 _
|_|  $5.15/Hr.    Name of College Attended:  ____________
 _
|_|  $6.00/Hr.    Name of Graduate School Attended:  ____________


Previous Employment:
 _
|_|  Circuit City
 _
|_|  Lorenzo's Carwash
 _
|_|  Domino's Pizza Delivery
 _
|_|  "Would you like fries with that?"
 _
|_|  Just Turned 16 and Need a Job!

For how long?
 _
|_|  One paycheck.
 _
|_|  A few weeks.
 _
|_|  Until the federales caught up with me.
 _
|_|  I think I'm in the stock room right now.

=====================================================================

Signature:  ___________________    Date:  __________

Thanks for applying to Fry's Electronics.  We're certain you'll be
robbing us blind in no time!


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