When you stop believing in Santa Claus, you start getting clothes for Christmas.
The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He IS Santa Claus.
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
A: Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q: There's an honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa Claus traveling in an elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors open, they all notice a $100 bill lying on the floor. Which one picks it up??
A: Santa, of course -- the other two don't exist!
1st kid: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer named "Olive" ?
2nd kid: Olive ?
1st kid: Yeah, you know, Olive the other reindeer, who used to laugh and call him names.