The Day Before Chrismas in WAP Land

by Gary Nooger

"Twas the day before Christmas time,
and through Washington's sublime,
Every computer was stirring...even those of MacMouse.
Slide shows were created by readers with care
Who hoped that all would stay out of their hair.

The kids were nestled at each student station
Divided in learning groups for cooperative participation.
And Dad with his toolkit and Mom in a tizzy
Gave out technical support....it kept them quite busy!

When out on the internet there arose such a clatter
The modems were ringing; all wanted to chatter.
Straight away to my Mac I flew in a frenzy
Double clicked on the Harddrive and checked out the memory.

The lights on the screen of my AV display
Showed a layer of dust that got in my way.
When what to my wondering eyes should I see
But some new applications and big old CD.

Plus a new laser disk, all so lively and slick
I couldn't decide on the first one to click!
More rapid than megahertz, the files up they came
So I giggled and shouted and called out their names!

"Now Claris! Now Print Shop! Kid Pix! and Play Yard!
On Bookshelf! On Groliers! Oregon Trail and HyperCard!"
To the top of the desktop, to backup device
I double clicked, double clicked, double clicked twice!

As viruses before the hard drives they crash
Corrupt some files and get thrown in the trash,
Up to the menu bar my mouse really flew
With a click and a drag on a window or two.

And then in a twinkling I heard my Mac beep
As the screen saver made my screen go to sleep.
As I drew up my mouse looking for control panels
Old Santa popped up on my TV channel.

He was dressed all in fur ... his complete attire
But his clothes were all covered with cables and wire.
A bundle of hardware & software he flung on his back
And he looked like a vendor just opening his pack.

His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples far apart!
His checks were like SCSI ports! His nose like clip art!
His droll little mouth was drawn up without waste
And the beard on his chin could copy and paste.

A startup disk he held tight in his teeth
And phone nets encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and looked really nice
As he hooked up a keyboard and scanner device.

He was chubby and plump, and looked very wise
And I laughed when I saw his computer dry eyes.
With a wink of his eye and a twist and a look
He paused to boot up his Mac PowerBook.

He spoke not a word as he logged into Explorer-net
With username and password, he wasn't through yet.
And sending e-mail to everyone he knows
He then gave a nod and up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, scanned a printed bar code.
The sleigh booted up and away Santa rode!
But I heard him exclaim at megahertz speed
"You give us all the information that none of us need!"



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