Love, Lust and Marriage

How do you know if you're in love, lust, or marriage?

Love: when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust: when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage: when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care.

Love: when intercourse is called making love.
Lust: all other times.
Marriage: what's intercourse?

Love: when you argue over how many children to have.
Lust: when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
Marriage: when you argue over money.

Love: when you share everything you own.
Lust: when you think twice about giving your partner bus money.
Marriage: when the bank owns everything.

Love: when it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
Lust: when the relationship is over if you don't climax.
Marriage: what's a climax?

Love: when you phone each other just to say "Gidday".
Lust: when you phone each other just to organize sex.
Marriage: when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts.

Love: when you write poems about your partner.
Lust: when all you write is your phone number.
Marriage: when all you write is cheques.

Love: when you show concern for your partners' feelings.
Lust: when you couldn't give a damn.
Marriage: when your only concern is what's on TV.

Love: when your farewell is "I love you darling ...".
Lust: when your farewell is "So, same time next week?".
Marriage: when your farewell is silent.

Love: when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
Lust: when you only ever see each other in the bedroom.
Marriage: when you never see each other awake.

Love: when your heart flutters everytime you see them.
Lust: when your groin twitches everytime you see them.
Marriage: when your wallet empties everytime you see them.

Love: when nobody else matters.
Lust: when nobody else knows.
Marriage: when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

Love: when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
Lust: when it's just the same mushy old crap.
Marriage: when you never listen to music.

Love: when breaking up is something you try not to think about.
Lust: when staying together is something you try not to thinkabout.
Marriage: when just getting through today is your only thought.

Love: when you're interested in everything your partner does.
Lust: when you're only interested in one thing.
Marriage: when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score.

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