From: car@access4.digex.net (Mr. Blue)
Date: 23 May 1996 08:37:15 -0400
Subject: Aggressive Driving: The Fashionable Norm
Seems it's a status symbol nowadays to drive as selfishly and
aggressively as possible. Here are some things you can do to
contribute to the heartburn and general stress levels out there:
1. Make sure you always play "follow the leader". That's when the
light for a left hand turn has already turned red, and 6 cars try to
sneak in behind.
2. Make lots of sudden lane changes, especially if it cuts someone
off.
3. Drive very impatiently and rock back and forth in your lane,
trying to look past the car in front of you. Act like you are going
to pass them on the shoulder. If you feel especially aggressive and
selfish, do it.
4. Ride somebody's tail with your obligatory (14 MPG) SUV.
5. Stick the nose of your car halfway into the lane while waiting to
turn right.
6. When turning right, pull into the farthest lane possible. Bonus
points if you significantly diminish the speed of oncoming car in
said lane.
7. When you're in a double left hand turn lane, try to swich lanes
*while you're turning*..Or if you can't, slow down or stop, which
will annoy the people behind you. Realize the futlity and stupidity
of such a maneuver just as the light changes, with you (of course)
being the only in your lane to have made the light. The people behind
you will want to hunt you down like a dog.