Employee Evaluation Form

Name:  ________________________ Date:  __________________

Position:  ___________________

==================================================
Knowledge:
[ ]     The SOB Really Knows His stuff!
[ ]     Knows Just Enough To Be Dangerous.
[ ]     Only Has Half a Brain and is Dangerous.
[ ]     His Coffee Cup Has a Higher IQ.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accuracy:
[ ]     Does Excellent Work If Not Pre-occupied With Sex.
[ ]     Pretty Good; Only Occasionally Turns Into Space Cadet.
[ ]     Has to Take His Shoes Off To Count Higher Than Ten.
[ ]     Couldn't Count His Nose And Get The Same Number Twice.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Attitude:
[ ]     Extremely Cooperative (if you suck up to him).
[ ]     Brown Noser In Good Standing.
[ ]     Often Pisses Off Co-Workers, Thinks He Owns the Place
[ ]     Doesn't Give A Damn, Never Did, Never Will.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reliability:
[ ]     Really A Dependable Twerp.
[ ]     Works So Hard That He Has To Take An Extra Day Off Each Week.
[ ]     Can Rely On Him To Be The First One Out The Door.
[ ]     Totally Worthless.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Appearance:
[ ]     Extremely Neat, Even Combs His Nose Hair.
[ ]     Looks Great On His Days Off.
[ ]     Dirty, Filthy, Smelly SOB.
[ ]     Flies Fight to Follow Him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Performance:
[ ]     Goes Like A Rocket...If There's Money In It For Him.
[ ]     Does All Kinds of Good Stuff At Evaluation Time.
[ ]     Works Well After An Enema.
[ ]     Couldn't Do Less If He Were In A Coma.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leadership:
[ ]     Carries A Chain Saw And Gets Good Results.
[ ]     Macho Attitude, Commands Total Disgust.
[ ]     Not Even His Dog Likes Him.
[ ]     Not Even Mosquitoes Like Him.
==================================================
     I UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE BEEN COUNSELED AND UNDERSTAND MY RIGHTS UNDER
THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974.  I FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM WORTHLESS AS A
FOOTBALL BAT, AND I WILL MAKE SOME KIND OF ATTEMPT TO CORRECT MY OBVIOUS
DEFICIENCES.

_______________________________
Employee Signature (or make an "X")

Return
Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters