God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.


1. How did you find out about God?
__ Newspaper __ Other Book
__ Television __ Divine Inspiration
__ Word of mouth __ Near Death Experience
__ Torah __ Friend or Relative
__ Bible __ Other
__ Koran (specify): _____________

2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to
God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery
__ Horoscope __ Television
__ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers
__ Self-help books __ Sex
__ Biorythms __ Alcohol or drugs
__ Mantras __ Other: _________________
__ Insurance policies __ None

3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the
balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer
(circle one)?
a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know

4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the following
(1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):
a. Disasters (flood, famine,
earthquake, war) 1 2 3 4 5

b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous
remission of disease, sports
upsets) 1 2 3 4 5

5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the
quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if necessary):


Thank you!


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Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters