Lance Ito's Sidebar & Grill

(From the San Jose Peach)

If You Have An Hour To Kill, Please Join Us For Dinner

Appetizers

ROSA LOPEZ NACHOS...................$3.95
Spicy, with a thick Mexican accent.
Nachos haven't been this good since...well, we can't remember!


Salads

KATO SALAD..............................$3.95
An empty head of lettuce, with very little dressing.


From the Bar

RON GOLDMAN WINE....................$3.95
Young vintage, good body. But you have to bring your own glasses.

PAULA BARBERI COCKTAIL............$3.95
O.J. with a little honey on the side. Goes down real easy.

MARCIA CLARK BEER....................$1.95
We thought we had a case, but now we're not sure.


Sandwiches

SIMPSON ALIBI SANDWICH.............$4.25
Full of baloney, and hard to swallow, but lots of stupid people are buying it!


Soup

SOUP DuJURY..............................$4.95
Aged for over a year. May be bitter.


From the Grill

MARK FUHRMAN CHICKEN PLATE....$5.95
Absolutely no dark meat.

DENNIS FUNG PLATE......................$5.95
Grilled detective, served open face. May be contaminated.


Dessert

Sorry, our Bakery is Temporarily Closed. The Lawyers have taken all the dough.


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Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters