To spare others from dashed hopes, shattered dreams, and tired feet, here is a guide to familiar real-estate ad phrases.
Charming - Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the
dwarfs would have to find their own place. See
Much Potential - Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of
money and believe your blind dates really did have nice
"Ready to Rehab,
Unique City Home - Used to be a warehouse.
Hi-Tech/Contemporary - Lots of steel shelving with little holes - the kind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.
Daring Design - Still a warehouse.
Completely Updated - Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.
Sophisticated - Black walls and no windows. See
One-Of-A-Kind - Ugly as sin.
Brilliant Concept - Do you really need a two-story live oak
in your 30-foot sky dome? See
Upper Bracket - If you have to ask . . .
You'll Love It - No, you won't.
Must See To Believe - An absolutely accurate statement.