1. You sit down to breakfast and hear "Snap, Crackle, and Pop"....and you haven't even poured milk on your cereal yet.
2. You get up to change the TV channel and decide as long as you're up, you might as well go to bed.
3. You start complaining that "They're building car seats too darn low!"
4. Your ears perk up when a LAXATIVE COMMERCIAL comes on TV.
5. You call the place you keep leftovers the "ICEBOX."
6. No matter where you sit, no matter where you are, THERE'S ALWAYS A DRAFT ON YOU!
7. You complain that the cleaners has started shrinking your clothes.
8. You wonder why everyone else is starting to MUMBLE.
9. Lawn care has become a pretty BIG part of your life.
10. Your underwear starts creeping up on you..AND YOU ENJOY IT!
11. You start videotaping DAYTIME game shows.
12. When you do the HOKEY POKEY and you "put your left hip out" ...IT STAYS OUT!
13. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a HOT WATER BOTTLE.
14. You think of a "quickie" as napping at a traffic light.
15. You need glasses to find your glasses.