25 Ways to Cope With Stress

l. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.

2. Use your Master card to pay your Visa, and vice-versa.

3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

4. When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.

5. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

6. Dance naked in front of your pets.

7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.

8. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.

9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.

10. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.

11. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.

12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.

13. Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's husband/wife.

14. Pay your electric bill in pennies.

15. Drive to work in reverse.

16. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.

17. Tell your boss to "blow it out your mule", and let him figure it out.

18. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.

19. Polish your car with earwax.

20. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.

21. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

22. Braid the hairs in each nostril.

23. Write a short story using alphabet soup.

24. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.

25. Make a language up and ask people for directions in it.

Bonus: Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters