Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Sumo!

by Richard A. Magahiz

Eating and sleeping are more important than you might think.

You can lose seven in a row and still get ahead.

A good stare can intimidate a superior opponent.

Sometimes a hundred pound size advantage is no help.

Salt does not improve the taste of dirt.

If you publicly admit that you're injured, people will cut you some slack.

Don't let anybody get behind your back.

Change your name, change your luck.

You ignore the advice of superiors at the risk of a rap to the head.

The public judges you on the basis of your haircut.

The big boys get top billing, the peions get the fine print.

If you don't produce, you may be out of a salary.

Honor and fame is nice, but don't neglect picking up some stock.

Home cooking satisfies.

Put your foot down hard a few hundred times and you get pretty strong.

Some things are more important than having a comfortable cushion to sit on.

A celebrity is easy to pick out in a crowd.

Don't be dissin' the missionary position.


Richard A. Magahiz magahiz@ernest.phys.cmu.edu
Physics Department, Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh, PA
http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/usr/rm6s/homepage.html (Personal homepage)
http://www.phys.cmu.edu/hyperons/homepage.html (K0 electroproduction)

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lic Sunday, January 11, 1998