Top Ten Unconfirmed Reports About The First Day of Unlimited AOL Time

10. "Welcome" voice began to sound like Jack Klugman by noon.

9. Compuserve announces plans to give customers "Double Unlimited Time."

8. Actually took the time to find out the name of my cybersex partner.

7. Digital City muggings up 41 percent.

6. The Truth determined to not really be out there.

5. Wal-Mart parking lots running at half capacity.

4. Unlimited Busy Signals!!!

3. Peace talks in Middle East suspended due to easier access to Unauthorized Anderson Honeymoon photos.

2. "Free Area" renamed "Area."

1. Community Update Archive logs first visitor.

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