Collection of E-mail Signatures

Back up my hard drive? I can't find the reverse switch!

Sorry I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film!

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.

A day without sunshine is like....night.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

On the other have different fingers.

I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.

I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere!

Eagles may fly, but weasels aren't sucked into jets.

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

Diplomacy: the art of letting someone have your way.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.

Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.

Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!

What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
lic Saturday, November 8, 1997