1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
3. Buy a Pentium 586/166 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 + 2 = 5 for very large values of 2.
5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
8. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
9. C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
10. <------The information went data way-----
11. Best file compression around: "DEL" = 100% compression
12. Definition of upgrade: Take old bugs out; put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted. Cereal Port Not Responding.
14. "The name is Baud . . . . James Baud.
15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 QUARTER=4 DOWN=2 YARDS TO GO=10
16. Access denied - nah na nah na nah na
17. C:\> Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner!
18. Bad command. Bad, bad, command. Sit! Stay! Staaay!
19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
22. Backups? We don't NEED no stinking backups.
23. E Pluribus Modem
24. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
25. Ethernet (n), something used to catch the etherbunny.
26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting.
28. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted; Re-boot Washington, D.C. (Y/N)? (Don't we wish?)
29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
30. A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
31. 11th commandment- Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
32. 24 hours in a day...24 diet cokes in a case...coincidence?
33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
34. Windows: Just another pane.
35. SENILE:COM found... Out Of Memory...
36. Who is General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
39. Shell to DOS. Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
40. All computers wait at the same speed.
41. DEFN: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
42. Press <CTRL><ALT><DEL> to continue...
43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
46. E-mail returned to sender - insufficient voltage.
47. Help! I'm modeming . . . . and I can't hang up!
48. All wiyht. Rhosritched mg kebord awound?
49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press Fl to continue.
50. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates, 1981.
51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGIRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
52. Hidden DOS secret- add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS.
53. Press any key- no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
54. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
55. Go ahead, make my data!