Half a glass of milk

Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction:

OPTIMIST: The glass is half full.

PESSIMIST: The glass is half empty.

FUTURIST: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

PASCAL PROGRAMMER: Well, what type of milk is it?

C PROGRAMMER: No thanks, I drink straight from the jug.

ASSEMBLY PROGRAMMER: No thanks, I drink straight from the cow.

BASIC PROGRAMMER: No thanks, I'm still breast feeding.

FUZZY LOGIC GUY: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

PENTIUM USER: I drank Glass # .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

WINDOWS USER: Where my straw?

MAC USER: Where's my pump?

UNIX USER: Nahh... too easy.

SHAREWARE GAME AUTHOR: That glass is free, the next one you have to pay for.

CIA: What makes you think that's milk?

COPY PROTECTION CRAZY: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

BILL GATES: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

APPLE COMPUTER: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

NATIONAL NEWS MEDIA: Hey, we wanted OJ!!!

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ