Christmas Shorts

When you stop believing in Santa Claus, you start getting clothes for Christmas.

The 3 stages of man:

He believes in Santa Claus.

He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.

He IS Santa Claus.

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?

A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?

A: Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

A: Crisp Cringle.

Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

A: A subordinate claus.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite.

Q: There's an honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa Claus traveling in an elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors open, they all notice a $100 bill lying on the floor. Which one picks it up??

A: Santa, of course -- the other two don't exist!

1st kid: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer named "Olive" ?

2nd kid: Olive ?

1st kid: Yeah, you know, Olive the other reindeer, who used to laugh and call him names.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 21, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters