13 Reasons a Dictionary is Better than a Man

(These are the result of someone realizing she was snuggling with a dictionary while talking online instead of her teddy bear.)

1. You can always buy a new dictionary when one wears out.

2. Dictionaries are ORGANIZED (and like it).

3. When a dictionary falls apart, you can tape it back together and it'll work just fine.

4. Sex always comes before Work with dictionaries.

5. Dictionaries are the ones that open up for YOU instead of the other way around.

6. Dictionaries come with a protective cover.

7. Most dictionaries are always hard. The ones that aren't are portable.

8. Your mother will never be disappointed in a dictionary you bring home.

9. You can have them sitting out in public and not worry about being embarrassed by it.

10. They don't mind being shelved.

11. You can legally keep more than one dictionary.

12. Dictionaries don't get flustered if you point out another dictionary that's larger.

13. You can find dictionaries in bookstores in places OTHER than the sci-fi and sports sections.

Return to Infrequently Asked Questions
Washington Apple Pi IFAQ