Darwin Awards

Darwin Awards - These are nearly always granted posthumously. This citation is bestowed upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self -sacrifice, has done the most to remove the undesirable elements from the human gene pool.

San Jose Mercury News

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Hickory Daily Record, 12-21-92

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in Dec. in Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone, but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson ...38 special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

San Jose Mercury News

A 24-year-old salesman from Hialeah, Fla. was killed near Lantana Fla., in March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of I-95 in the middle of the afternoon. Police said that the man was traveling at 80 mph, and judging by the sales manual that was found open and clutched to his chest, had been busy reading.

Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario

Man slips, falls 23 stories to his death. A man cleaning a bird feeder on his balcony of his apartment fell 23 stories to his death, police said Monday.

Stephen Macko was cleaning the bird feeder on his balcony when the accident occurred. It appears that the chair moved and he went over the balcony. It's one of those freak accidents. No foul (fowl?) play is suspected.

UPI Toronto

Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. (I guess one falls 23 stories, but plunges from 24 or more). They said that Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students.

Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lauwers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200 man association.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters