Aquarius: Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!
Pisces: Dear God, since I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch anyway, please make it for Thy glorification.
Aries: Dear God, please give me patience....and could You do it right now?
Taurus: Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quickly.
Gemini: Dear God, Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
Cancer: Dear God!!!
Virgo: Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.
Libra: Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do You think is best?
Scorpio: Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the b*****ds don't deserve it!
Sagittarius: Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
Capricorn: Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!