True Dumb Criminal Stories

1. Sheriff's deputies were chasing two crooks in and out of traffic lanes at high speed near Baton Rouge. Despite all their evasive maneuvers, the pair were unable to shake their pursuers until they made a right turn down a one way street. The cruiser behind rolled to a stop, the deputies inside laughing loudly. A second later came the the crooks rammed their getaway car head on into the gates of the Louisiana State Penitentiary.

2. An armored truck was making its usual morning cash delivery to a store. The driver had gone around back and opened the door, and the store's assistant manager was on hand to pick up the cash. Suddenly a man came up behind the guard, stuck something in his back, and said: "Sir, please step away from the truck." The guard put his hands up and agreed. The crook then hopped up into the truck. The guard then slowly closed the door of the truck as his armed partner inside quickly disarmed the unsuspecting crook. He went around to the truck cab and reported on his radio to his dispatcher that he'd have to make another stop.

3. A longhaired type came to a courthouse on official business. He attempted to pass through the metal detector, but it went off. He was ushered back through and handed the deputy his keys, jackknife, and pocket change. It still went off. He then handed over an enormous metal belt buckle and tried again. Again the alarm went off. At that point, he threw up his hands and told the deputy: "I give up. The bag of dope's in my pocket."

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
lic Thursday, November 6, 1997