What is the ideal cockpit crew?
A pilot and a dog. The pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.
How many fighter pilots does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.
How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
He'll tell you.
What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot....
What is the difference between a fighter pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a fighter pilot when it's drunk.
What do fighter pilots use for birth control?
What is the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A jet engine stops whining when it pulls in to the parking spot.