Harlez-Vous Francais?

The following were winners in a New York Magazine contest in which contestants were to take a well-known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter, and provide a definition for the new expression.

HARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS? -- Can you drive a French motorcycle?

EX POST FUCTO -- Lost in the mail

IDIOS AMIGOS -- We're wild and crazy guys!

VENI, VIPI, VICI -- I came, I'm a very important person, I conquered.

COGITO EGGO SUM -- I think; therefore I am a waffle.

RIGOR MORRIS -- The cat is dead.

RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID -- Honk if you're Scottish.

QUE SERA SERF -- Life is feudal.

LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI -- The king is dead. No kidding.

POSH MORTEM -- Death styles of the rich and famous

PRO BOZO PUBLICO -- Support your local clown.

MONAGE A TROIS -- I am three years old.

FELIX NAVIDAD -- Our cat has a boat.

HASTE CUISINE -- Fast French food

VENI, VIDI, VICE -- I came, I saw, I partied.

QUIP PRO QUO -- A fast retort

ALOHA OY -- Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know.

MAZEL TON -- tons of luck

APRES MOE LE DELUGE -- Larry and Curly got wet.

PORTE-KOCHERE -- Sacramental wine

ICH LIEBE RICH -- I'm really crazy about having dough.

FUI GENERIS -- What's mine is mine.

VISA LA FRANCE -- Don't leave your chateau without it.

CA VA SANS DIRT -- And that's not gossip.

MERCI RIEN -- Thanks for nothin'!

AMICUS PURIAE -- Platonic friend

L'ETAT, C'EST MOO -- I'm bossy around here.

Cogito, ergo spud -- I think, therefore I Yam (ok, more than one letter...)

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters