This 75 year old woman had a vision one night, she saw and spoke to God. She asked him, "how much time do I have to live?" He said, "you have 35 years left."
So that whole year she had a ton of cosmetic surgery, she had a face lift, a tummy tuck, her nose reshaped, liposuction, she completely did herself over. She figured as long as she was going to live another 35 years she was going to look young again. After all this was done, that same year she was hit by a car and was killed instantly.
When she entered St. Peter's gate she walked over to God and said, "What happened? I thought you said I had another 35 years!"
God replied, "I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU!"