You are no longer beneath my contempt.

That boy's about as sharp as the leading edge of a BB.

This one translates very badly into english, but it might translate well in other languages:
Hij is zo handig; wat zijn ogen zien, dat maken zijn handen ........ kapot
(He is so skilled; what his eyes see, his hands make .......... broken)

When something went wrong with someone else, say this to calm him/her:
That can happen to anyone, ...... but it happens to the stupidest first.

I hope your face ends up on a milk carton.

If I had a brother like you, I'd put myself up for adoption.

You remind me of opium, a slow working dope.

I would love to beat you up, but I have a problem with cruelty to animals.

I guess you prove that even god makes mistakes sometimes.

Wow! You're a legend in your own mind!

You're half a genius - an IQ of 75.

You're so lazy, that if you woke up with nothing to do today, you'd go to bed with it only half done.

May your bollocks turn cubical and fester at the corners.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Father of none and son of hundreds.

The gods that smiled on your birth are laughing now.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters