You know you're not a kid anymore when
- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
- You can live without sex but not without glasses
- Your back goes out more than you do
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- Your are proud of your lawn mower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half his age..... and isn't
breaking any laws.
- You call Olan Mills before they call you.
- Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
- You make an appointment to see the dentist
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- Neighbors borrow your tools .
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"
- You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"
- You send money to PBS.
- You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of
- The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You know what the word "equity" means.
- You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch
- Your ears are hairier than your head.
- You talk about "good grass," and you're referring to the
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans
Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
lic Wednesday, November 5, 1997