Never assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Common sense isn't.
Nobody ever forgets WHERE they buried the hatchet.
A conservative is a person who lives in a past that never existed.
A liberal prefers a criminal's rights to society's rights.
You know you beat a liberal in an argument when he calls you names.
Diplomacy is the art of letting somebody else have your way.
Chopped cabbage is not just a good idea, it's the slaw!
It was a brave man who ate the first oyster.
Practise safe eating. Use condiments.
Just because I'm moody dosen't mean you're not irritating.
If you want to know more about paranoids follow them around.
How would we measure hail without golf balls?
Got a new car for my wife - great trade!
Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny.
Have you ever seen a plumber bite his nails?
I started out with nothing. I still have most of it left.