Real Estate Guide

To spare others from dashed hopes, shattered dreams, and tired feet, here is a guide to familiar real-estate ad phrases.

Charming - Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would have to find their own place. See "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."

Much Potential - Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities. See "Ready to Rehab," and "Fixer Upper."

Unique City Home - Used to be a warehouse.

Hi-Tech/Contemporary - Lots of steel shelving with little holes - the kind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.

Daring Design - Still a warehouse.

Completely Updated - Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.

Sophisticated - Black walls and no windows. See "Architect's Delight."

One-Of-A-Kind - Ugly as sin.

Brilliant Concept - Do you really need a two-story live oak in your 30-foot sky dome? See "Makes Dramatic Statement."

Upper Bracket - If you have to ask . . .

You'll Love It - No, you won't.

Must See To Believe - An absolutely accurate statement.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters