The Really Hard Questions in Life

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, when you can't legally drink and drive?

Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters