The Top 15 Questions on the Spice Girl Job Application
- 15) In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really,
really want this job.
- 14) Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your
hooters?
- 13) Would it, like, bother you to be the target of unrelenting
hatred?
- 12) How would you best describe yourself?
- ( ) An energetic self-starter
- ( ) A team player
- ( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
- 11) True or false: A mosh pit is the seed of the mosh
fruit.
- 10) "I am willing to trade sexual favors for a career in the
music industry." ( ) Yes ( ) No
- 9) How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke
bar?
- 8) Does nudity bother you? If so, should I put my clothes back
on?
- 7) Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of
individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of
neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology.
- Just kidding! Seriously, do you like leather
mini-skirts?
- 6) Are you deceptively attractive in colored or stroboscopic
light?
- 5) Choose an appropriate nickname: Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie,
Chlamydia.
- 4) Have you ever been convicted of combining vertical and
horizontal stripes?
- 3) If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90
kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you
look in spandex?
- 2) Does the term "force majeure in perpetuity" make you afraid
or just giggly?
and the Number 1 Question on the Spice Girl Job Application...
- 1) If required as part of your deal with Satan, would you be
willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?
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Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
lic Sunday, January 11, 1998