The Top 15 Questions on the Spice Girl Job Application

• 15) In space provided, tell us why you want, why you really, really want this job.
• 14) Do you have any detectable vestige of talent, besides your hooters?
• 13) Would it, like, bother you to be the target of unrelenting hatred?
• 12) How would you best describe yourself?
  • ( ) An energetic self-starter
  • ( ) A team player
  • ( ) A tasty, albeit untalented, bit of crumpet
• 11) True or false: A mosh pit is the seed of the mosh fruit.
• 10) "I am willing to trade sexual favors for a career in the music industry." ( ) Yes ( ) No
• 9) How many times have you been kicked out of a karaoke bar?
• 8) Does nudity bother you? If so, should I put my clothes back on?
• 7) Explain the difficulties in identifying the source of individual free will in light of the deterministic theories of neurochemical medicine and modern behavioralist psychology.
  • Just kidding! Seriously, do you like leather mini-skirts?
• 6) Are you deceptively attractive in colored or stroboscopic light?
• 5) Choose an appropriate nickname: Sexy, Nasty, Sweetie, Chlamydia.
• 4) Have you ever been convicted of combining vertical and horizontal stripes?
• 3) If two trains leave Liverpool an hour apart at 90 kilometers, and 75 kilometers an hour, respectively, how would you look in spandex?
• 2) Does the term "force majeure in perpetuity" make you afraid or just giggly?

and the Number 1 Question on the Spice Girl Job Application...

• 1) If required as part of your deal with Satan, would you be willing to help alleviate Prince Charles's loneliness?