Tag Lines

|[ Just another StrangeHack(tm) ]|

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"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

"I see," said the blind man as he peed into the wind, "it's all coming back to me now."

*REALLY* get stoned, drink wet cement...

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

A deadline has a marvelous ability to concentrate the mind.

A dirty book is seldom dusty.

A father is a banker provided by nature.

A feature is a bug with seniority.

A fool and his computer are soon parted...

A fool and his money are some party.

A friend in need is a pain in the neck.

A job is nice but it interferes with my life.

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.

A PC takes guesswork out of it. So does a bikini.

A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy.

A seminar of time travel will be held two weeks ago.

A shroe! A shroe! My dingkom for a shroe!

A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.

Abstinence is a good thing if practiced in moderation.

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.

Algebra: What the Little Mermaid wears.

All I want is a chance to prove money can't buy happiness.

All stressed out and no one to choke!

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

And then God said, "No, a BUD Light!"

And you thought you've seen it all? Well...you have.

Are you a computer friendly user?

Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?

Are you out of my mind?

As regards computing, Murphy was an optimist.

Avoid hangovers -- stay drunk.

Avoid reality at all costs!

Back off man! I'm a programmer.

Backup not found: I might as well kill myself now...

Bad command or file name...STUPID!

BASIC programmers never die, they just GOSUB and don't return.

Be kind to others. You never know who is going to be rich one day.

Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes right to the bone.

Beer is better: Beer is always in season.

Behind every great man is his BUTT!

Besides, friends don't let friends use Windows!

Beta testers do it for free.

BETA TESTERS WHO LIE! On the next Geraldo!

Beware of exploding penguins!

Black holes are where God divided by zero...

Bless me father, for I have SIMMed.

Blood's thicker than water; and it tastes better too!

Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

But Officer, the tree didn't give way to the right...

But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

But...I thought YOU did the backups?

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

C:/ONGRTLNS.W95 -- Apple Computer Ad

California does have its faults.

Call me Bob. I won't _answer_, but...

Can I blame my spelling on LINE NOISE?

Can you believe that thing is STILL moving?

Captain, a Klingon does NOT play Tetris...

Captain, a Klingon does NOT use Windows...

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get 8 cats to pull a sled.

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire...

Civilization is fun, and, besides, it keeps me busy!

Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

COMEDIAN: A person who has a good memory for old jokes.

Coming Soon: Vaporware 7.0. "Its a real gas!"

Complex problems have simple, wrong answers.

Computer Geek Modem Romance Widows - On Oprah!

Computer lie #1: You'll never use all that hard drive space.

Computers also eliminate spare time.

Computers can never replace human stupidity.

Computers can't replace human stupidity.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Counselor Troi, report to my quarters. Clothing optional.

Cover me. I'm going to switch lanes.

Desktop Publishers do it with style.

Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Difference between a virus & Windows? Viruses never fail.

Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Do not disturb - I'm disturbed enough already.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Do something unusual today. Pay my phone bill.

Do test tube babies have navels?

Do those who watch over you know about this?

Do you ever get the feeling that the computer is pushing YOUR button?

Docs? Last time I went, I got nasty medicine!

Doctor, my brain hurts!

Documentation - The worst part of programming.

Does anybody know what's going on?

Does anyone REALLY read these stupid taglines?

Does Commander Data have an over byte?

Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows!

Don't be so open minded your brains fall out.

Don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up!

Don't drink and drive. You might spill your drink.

Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.

Don't eat the yellow snow!

Don't force it; get a larger hammer.

Don't get mad, get even.

Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep till noon.

Don't hit me!! I'm in the Twilight Zone!!

Don't just DO something, STAND THERE!

Don't leave home without a portable computer!

Don't let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Don't let it fool you, it's written in BASIC.

Don't let stress kill you off - let someone help!

Don't look behind you, they're catching up with you. RUN FASTER!

Don't look behind you, they're watching.

Don't meddle in the affairs of Wizards...

Don't panic!!! It's supposed to do that...

Don't pick up that phon#!}}{) NO CARRIER

Don't question authority. They don't know either...

Drive carefully...especially on the sidewalks.

Drop your carrier! We have you surrounded!

Easy as 3.141592653589...

Eat any good books lately?

Eat bran for that "get up and go" feeling!

Eat properly, get lots of exercise - and die anyway.

Electricians do it until it Hz...

Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.

End of message...stop reading...really...STOP!

Error 141: Too many errors.

Error reading drive C: <A>bort, <R>etry, <O>h, forget it!

ERROR: Are you *really* trying 9600bps? Tsk, tsk...

ERROR: Incompatible user.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Every time I lose weight, it finds me again!

Everyone is entitled to my opinion...

F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng.

Famous last lines: "Don't worry. I have backups..."

Famous last lines: "You saw a WHAT around the corner...?!"

Fate protects fools, small children, and ships named "Enterprise".

Feel lucky? Do a reinstall...

Feel lucky? I bet you made backups...

Feel lucky? OK. I just wanted to ask...

File Not Foun...put that down right this instant!

File Not Found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

File Not Found. You're not laughing...?

Flying saucers are real. The Air Force doesn't exist.

For every action, there's an equal & opposite criticism.

For that rundown feeling - jaywalking.

For the love of humanity, don't launch the asparagus!

For what its worth, I don't give a poop!

Four minus two is one and the same.

Friends don't let friends drink and e-mail.

Friends don't let friends use Prodigy.

Friends: People who dislike the same people we do.

From the Desk of the Happy Hacker...

Garcon! Take this grenade to the chef. Very quickly, please.

Gee, Mr. Wizard! Aren't nuclear reactors dangerous?!

Gee, that was an utter waste of time.

Get thee down. Be thou funky.

Go ahead, jump. 100,000 lemmings can't ALL be wrong...

Gun control...the ability to hit what you aim at!

Guns don't kill. Fast moving projectiles do...

Ham and eggs: A chicken's day's work; a pig's lifetime commitment.

Happiness is a full backup.

Hard work won't hurt me, I know, but I'm taking no chances...

Hardware: The part you kick.

Hardware: The part you kick. Software: This you corrupt.

Have you hugged your computer today?

Have you hugged your programmer today?

Have you hugged your tagline writer today?

He who dies with the most computers is dead.

He who dies with the most stuff is dead.

He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

He who laughs last probably made a backup.

He who laughs last uses a MAC!

He's dead Jim. You get the tricorder, I'll get the wallet...

Help me Norton, help me Norton...

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

Help! My keyboard is stuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Hire a teenager while they still know it all.

Honey, what's 'Formatting Drive C:' mean?

Honk if you hate horns.

Hot water heaters? Um...hot water needs heating?

how come the AT&T symbol looks like the Death Star?!

How many babies can a motherboard have?

Humm...is this tagline on? Thump Thump Thump

Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed I Tell You!

I always use the goodest English.

I always watch my speling;sintax, grammer & pointuation

I am immortal, or at least until I die.

I am not a pornographer. I don't even own a pornograph.

I am not antisocial. I'm just not real friendly.

I am not conceited! I just hate mortals...

I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.

I am Pentium of Borg. Precision is futile, you will be approximated.

I am schizophrenic, and so am I.

I am so smart I make myself sick.

I am still in ß testing, wait until I am released.

I am the root of some evil...send some money.

I am waiting for my winning Lotto ticket.

I asked, I played, I stared, "I do". What a day...

I avoid cliches like the plague.

I can name that file in TWO bytes!

I can resist anything but temptation.

I can't help being me...I was born this way.

I cannot afford to waste my time making money!

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!

I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less.

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything.

I didn't write that! It sounds more like Shakespeare!

I didn't write this, a very complex macro did.

I don't have a solution but I do admire the problem.

I don't have any HIDDEN prejudices!

I don't know what I like, but I know what art is.

I don't like money - but it quiets my spirit.

I don't like sex on the telly. I keep falling off.

I don't wanna work,I wanna bang on the drum all day.

I don't want a toaster...

I failed my blood test! I didn't study.

I forgot where I left my short term memory!

I give it two middle fingers up...way up.

I hacked Mainframes before there were PCs!

I hate self-referencing taglines, like this one...

I have 100GB of software on 360K floppies!

I have a porongraphic memory...

I have NOT lost my mind. It's on disk somewhere!

I have nothing to say, but I can say it loudly.

I have the heart of a young boy - in a jar on my desk.

I just tested out my pit bull. Ever heard a mime scream?

I just took an IQ test. The results were negative.

I killed an ant, now all my relatives are afraid of me.

I know I'm being used, but that's OK because I like the abuse... -- The Offspring

I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words...

I like to leave messages *before* the beep.

I lost a button hole today.

I only drink when I'm alone or with someone...

II plan to live forever, or die trying.

I played poker with tarot cards and got a flush & five people died!

I plead not guilty by reason of computer-induced insanity.


I see your GAU-8A and raise you two SAMs!

I show a clear pattern of unpredictability.

I SWEAR I thought she was 18!

I think, therefore I am overqualified.

I think, therefore I am. (or am I?)

I think, therefore I am... I think.

I thought I was wrong once...but I was mistaken.

I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

I tried snorting coke ... and almost DROWNED!

I tried to drown my sorrows. I had no idea they float!

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure...

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

I used to have money in the bank, now I have a BBS

I was on a roll till I slipped on the butter.

I welcome criticism...write yours here: __

I'd be smarter if you knew enough to teach me...

I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous.

I'll bet you're wondering who wrote this tagline...

I'll have what the guy on the floor is having...

I'm a very modest person. And damn proud of it.

I'm god, yadda, yadda, worship, worship...you know the routine...

I'm looking for myself. Anybody seen me lately?

I'm not a sysop, although I play one on TV.

I'm not an acronym... I'm a human being! Err... Oops.

I'm not as think as you stoned I am!

I'm not asz think asz you drunk I am, Ossifer!

I'm not really an actor, but I play one on TV.

I'm not schizophrenic! Yes I am! No I'm not! Who are you?

I'm not tense, just terribly ALERT!

I'm so nervous, yesterday I got a fingernail transplant!

I'm sorry, what does 'Off Topic' mean?

I'm sorry, you are not cleared for that information.

I'm sorry. Did you say something?

I'm sure that I'm confused about being sure..

I'm tired of being a sex symbol!

I'm too sexy for this party.

I'm weird. As if you didn't know that...

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I've got a piece of brain lodged in me head!

If at first you don't succeed - so much for skydiving.

If at first you don't succeed, sit the hell down.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

If it ain't broke yet, let me have a shot at it.

If it ain't broke, kick it harder!

If it moves so SLOW, why is it called rush hour?

If it works, rip it apart and find out why!

If it's useless and does nothing, call it v1.0.

If version 1.0 works, someone goofed.

If Windows sucked, it would be good for something...

If you hold a hard drive to your ear, you can hear the C:

In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream.

Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.

Is it just me, or is my monitor breathing?

It works better if you flip it on!

It works better when plugged in!

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Its kind of fun to do the impossible.

Jellybeans and Windex are essentially evil.

Jesus is coming back, and boy, is he ticked!

Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for valuable prizes.

Jim, I'm a doctor not a prostitute!

Jimi Hendrix's modem was a Purple Hayes.

Keyboard not found...THINK F1 to Continue.

Keyboard: device used to enter errors into the computer.

Kiss my ASCII.

Last 2 words of the national anthem -> PLAY BALL!

Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.

Life is like Myst: If you're dazed and confused, find out what happened.

Life is one situation you'll never get out of alive!

Looks like the wrong week to stop sniffing glue...

Macintosh: A religion, a way of life.

Magicians are a vanishing species.

Mail your ideas written on the back of a $20 bill to...

Make ten copies of this tagline, send it to ten friends.

Makes more sense when you're tripping.

Man of Steel hates industrial electromagnets.

Math and Alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink & derive.


Microsoft - where good ideas go to die.

Microsoft Windows 95 - still proving that computer users CAN take a joke.

More fun than a tube of crazy glue and an imagination...

Murphy's law. It's not a good idea, but it is the law.

My credit is so bad, they won't even accept cash!

My driving is so bad, they won't let me sit in the passenger seat...!

My other computer is a 286 <gasp>

My other computer is a 604/150...

My other computer is a P166...

Never insult a crocodile until you are safely across the river.

Next time you wave, use ALL your fingers!

No honey, it's only a computer. PLEASE put down the gun...

No new mail. Start whine/pout macro? (Y/N)

Oh, you're no fun anymore!

Okay, I pulled the pin. Now what? ... Where are you going?

OS/2: Windows done RIGHT!

Oxymoron: Even odds.

Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

PBS: TV for the humor impaired.

People always remember the last mistake you made.

Pessimist: one who sees in others his own worst characteristics.

Politically correct, and proud of it!

Politically incorrect, and proud of it!

Powdered water -> just add ... humm ...

Recursive (ri-kur-siv) adj. See 'recursive.'

Red and green, what's the difference? It's just a bomb...

Rotisserie: A Ferris wheel for chickens.

RTFM? I can't even LIFT it!

Save water ->shower with a friend...

Saying Windows 95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the Second Coming.

Since I've used all my sick days, I'm calling in DEAD!

Software troubleshooter - Roger /w 44 Magnum

Some people are alive because its illegal to kill them.

Son of a batch...

Sorry, no tagline. Check back next week.

Stupid people are dumb!

Surrender now, before I have to offer you better terms!

SYSOP: The person sitting there laughing as you type!

System Err...HEY! Point that elsewhere!

Tagline uncloaking port to starboard, Captain...

Taglines: Things that make you go 'Humm...'

Tag[line], you're it!

That's OK because I have no SELF ESTEEM... -- The Offspring

The most fun you can have with your clothes on...

The thing most women dread about their past is its length.

The truth will be found when it is no longer needed.

The ultimate law of the universe...Murphy's law.

The universe is a figment of it's own imagination!

There really isn't anything here...

There's not enough violets on TV...

There's too much violets on TV...

They said all I had to do is shoot 5 people, and the voices would stop...

Think! While it's still legal.

This actually is empty space...

This is not a tagline.

This is your brain on drugs, toast and coffee.

This is your brain...this is your brain on DOS!

This message is copyrighted. Might as well...

This tagline intentionally left blank.

This tagline lacks content...give it 2 stars.

This tagline was filmed before a live studio audience.

Time exists so that everything doesn't happen at once.

Time files when you don't know what you're doing.

Time files when you're having bugs.

To err is human, to forgive...$5.00

To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.

Tragedy is when I fall in a manhole and die; Comedy is when someone else does.

Underneath all these clothes, I am completely naked! <gasp>

Unrecoverable system error at 417A:32CF. Incompetent user.

Unwritten laws cannot be erased...

USED CARS: Why go elsewhere and be cheated? Come here first!

Virus check complete. All viruses functioning normally.

Vulcan Science Academy Dropout

Wake up! Elvis is dead, OJ walks free...Accept it!

Wallpaper. Yep. Wallpaper...

Wanted: Dictionary with index...

Warning: This message protected by Attack Owls.

We've replaced the dilithium with Folgers Crystals!

What happens if you're in a car traveling the speed of light, and you turn on your headlights?

What is forgiven is usually well remembered.

What the heck happened here?

What? Me worry?

Whatever happens, behave like you meant it to happen.

When in doubt, mumble...

When is a mouse a rat? When it eats memory!

When the going gets tough, the tough go drinking.

Where service isn't just a word; it's a noun.

Where the heck is the <ANY> key?

Where time flies like an arrow, and fruit flies like a banana.

Where were YOU the night of Nov 22, 1963?

Wherever I go, there I am.


Who in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Who REALLY puts the filling in the twinkies, anyway?

Who said TV is a vast <burp> wasteland?

Why are you wasting time reading taglines?

Why do I have to work for a living?

Why do tornadoes only hit trailer parks?

Why does bread always fall butter side down?

Windows 95 = Macintosh 89 + 8MB

World ends...details after the game.

Write an idiot-proof program and the world will build a better idiot.

Xerox: all they ever do is copy...

Yeah, maybe we ARE apathetic, but we JUST DON'T CARE!

Yer motherboard wears combat reboots.

You can name your own salary here. I named mine Fred.

You can stop reading now, I've finished my message.

You'd think there were ENOUGH taglines, already...

Your average mind numbing, brain-blowing experience.

Your computer does what?

Your epidermis is showing!

Your Freudian slip is showing.

Your Virus is now STONED.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
December 4, 1998 Lawrence I. Charters