Top Ten Reasons to Move to Texas:

10. To hear a waitress call you "Hon"

9. To drive 900 miles and still not be out of state

8. To see high school football stadiums bigger than Wrigley Field

7. To hear people take forever to say good-bye

6. To hear people turn a one syllable word into a three syllable word, like "re-e-all" gude pie!

5. To actually see grown men going to gun and knife shows

4. Where you don't need a toothpick to pick that good sweet corn out of your teeth cause you can't find good sweet corn in Texas.

3. Where people actually have the gall to call their football club "America's Team"

2. To turn on your heater when it falls below 70 degrees, and your air conditioning when it skyrockets to a blistering 72 degrees.

1. To laugh yourself silly watching people drive in 1/8" of snow.

Washington Apple Pi IFAQ
lic Wednesday, November 5, 1997