I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!.
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.