The Absolute Worst things to say to a Police Officer

• Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
• Hey, you must've been doin' about 125mph to keep up with me! Nice going!
• Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer?
• I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
• Bad Cop! No Donut!
• You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
• Gee, that big ol' gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
• Didn't I see some junkie kick your butt on "Cops"?
• I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
• Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
• Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
• I pay your salary!
• So, uh, you on the take, or what?
• Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
• Aren't you the guy from The Village People?
• Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
• I was trying to keep up with traffic. I know there are no other cars around, that's why I was speeding since they are so far ahead of me.
• What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the expert here.
• When I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
• Is that a 9mm? Gee, that's kinda small. Check out this bad boy .44 magnum.
• Hey, sweetheart, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?